The Mesmerist

Amazon Pants Debacle Returns!

Amazon Pants Debacle Returns!

Well, it happened again. I went to check out one of my books on Amazon, only to discover the image of the paperback cover had been replaced by a picture of mens workout pants. This has happened to me a lot in my years of selling books on Amazon. It’s always pants, for some reason. And no one can ever tell why it’s pants…

Audiobooks of The Mesmerist Series are Live!

Audiobooks of The Mesmerist Series are Live!

Two of the novels in my Mesmerist series of books are live and available for purchase in the Apple audiobooks store! These are the seventh and eight books of mine to go live for readers who prefer to consume books that way. They are also the fourth and fifth novels of mine to become an audiobook.

You can learn more about the first two book in the series, The Mesmerist and Ear of God right here.

In a nutshell, this is a thriller series that focuses primarily on psychic phenomena. An FBI agent and a New York City cop team up to investigate strange cases that have no conventional solutions. It’s basically my take on the occult detective genre. Part detective fiction, part urban fantasy…

Amazon Pants Debacle Resolved!

Amazon Pants Debacle Resolved!

I received confirmation late yesterday that Amazon had finally resolved the issue in which one of my book covers went missing, and was replaced with the image of a stack of mens’ trousers. (See image below.)

I carefully clicked through to all of Amazon’s international stores to make sure that what the KDP rep was telling me was accurate. It was.

All told, the problem took from 9/8/23 to 9/24/23 to resolve. So I only had to look like an idiot—and lose potential sales—for 16 days!

Why Amazon is Currently Making Me Insane

Why Amazon is Currently Making Me Insane

I was naturally concerned when I saw the recent articles about the proliferation of crap books impersonating established authors. Jane Friedman did a great post on this. And Chris Fox revealed another twist on the scammer problem. Fox predicts that these kind of quality control issues will hurt Amazon in the long term.

I believe I have them all beat. What I’m reporting here is not a scam issue. At least, I don’t think it is. I do think it’s just an egregious example of nonexistent quality control.

I looked at one of my self-pubbed books the other day on Amazon, and discovered this. Yes! I am an author not of books, but PANTS!

Three December Announcements!

Buy my books! There—I said it. What more could any writer have to say to the world in general (and this world in particular) during the month of December?

Actually, you know what? Buy our books. My wife’s and mine, I mean.

We both have some delightful offerings that we’ve cooked up for you lovely people during this disturbing pandemic holiday season we’ve got going on. Specifically, I launched a new book some weeks ago that I need to tell you about.

But let me march through these here announcements one by one, in the ever-popular ascending price order. Which means, let’s start with the deal you cannot miss.

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Thing 1: The e-book of my Christmas epic fantasy, Sorceress Kringle, is on sale right now for the ridiculous price of 99 cents. Yes, I’ve gone nuts for Christmas. This gender-swapped, female Santa Claus story is probably my best book and I’m practically giving it away. Why? Because Santa. Because Christmas. Because ho-fucking-ho. So snap it up at wherever you buy your e-books. (Just do it soon before the price goes up.) Tell your friends. Tell your pets. And then, when you’ve immersed yourself in the Christmasy juices of this lush, evocative book, and you’re ready to burst with goodwill toward men, write a freaking review of the book where you bought it. Don’t read e-books? No problem. You can buy a paper copy wherever fine books are sold. You can order a copy from the bookstore in my town and they’ll get me to autograph it before they send it out. Get the deets on Sorceress Kringle right here.

Ear of God by Joseph D'Agnese

Thing 2: My new book, Ear of God, is just out and it continues The Mesmerist thriller saga I started a few years ago. The new book’s a bizarro tale of a sweet harmless child with special gifts who gets himself kidnapped and unleashes hell on the world. I apologize for pubbing such a story during a freaking pandemic, but as I’ll try to explain a future post, writers gotta write, and I don’t write expecting my literary nightmares to become reality. So go grab Ear of God, and begin worrying about my sanity. The e-book’s $4.99, the paperback’s $16. And yes, you can get a signed copy from my local bookstore. All the details for Ear of God are here. Remember: if you do get it, please consider reviewing it at some online retailer. It’s one of the best things you can do to help an author out.

Thing 3: Lastly, the New York Times bestseller in the house—my lovely wife Denise Kiernan—just pubbed a nonfiction book called We Gather Together, which tells the remarkable story of how Thanksgiving (and thanksgiving) came to be. Among other things, it’s a book about a little-known woman, stirring events in the Civil War, the pursuit of love, honor, duty, and grace, and it includes what I think is one of the most compassionate, forthright portraits of Abe Lincoln I’ve seen in a book in a long while. The hardcover retails for $25; the e-book is $12.99. This book is destined to be a hit with book clubs, and a perennial bestseller. The book everyone needs to read around the holidays. If you don’t believe me, go hunt up the Wall Street Journal review and see for yourself. Get the details on We Gather Together right here.

We Gather Together by Denise Kiernan

So there you have it. Three important announcements to get off my chest before year’s end and the jangle of a hopefully better New Year.

There! Go! Buy! Crack some spines and snuggle in front of a fire and read thyself to thy heart’s content.

As for me, I gotta go vacuum the pine needles out of the carpet.

Thank you all. Hug the family for me. And stay safe out there!

The Close and Holy Darkness

What a year. It looks like I’m celebrating Christmas tonight. Denise’s mom has been gravely ill and been in the hospital for the last few weeks. She’s  home at last, and we’re finally getting around to sharing presents under the tree and cooking a big meal.

The year 2014 started with news of mom’s diagnosis, and that horror has been running in the background through all our professional successes. The year started with me meeting a new client who wanted to write a book about his business. I wrote the proposal in January, and our agent sold it. The rest of the year was consumed with interviews, research, reading and writing. Publishers keep talking about how they want to be more nimble, right? Well, look: the year’s not yet out and that book is already available for pre-order on Amazon, slated to pub in April 2015, with a couple of Amazon Vine reviews to boot.

I wrote a second proposal for another client this year, late in Autumn. My agent sold that book for an enormous sum. But I ended up walking away from that deal, mostly because I wanted to focus on my own writing. It’s about time I did. I turned 50 in the fall and that has had a bigger impact on my psyche than I’ve been prepared to admit.

I love fiction; it’s why I got into this business in the first place. Ghostwriting aside, I managed to sell or place three short stories this year, and finish a first draft of the second book in my Mesmerist series. I hope to get that out in 2015 if the revisions go well. I’ve also been messing with revisions of a historical fantasy that I wrote in 2013. I may end up scrapping that book and writing an entirely new book with the same premise; deciding that will be the first order of business in 2015.

This is the time of year when we talk about the ones we lost. I don’t really have the time to get into all of them, but I will say I was saddened by the passing of P.D. James. I came to her work at the same time in my life as I discovered Elmore Leonard’s books. Such different writers. I’m amazed I loved them both. To lose them both a year apart grips me. Another writer who passed away was Mary Stewart, a British contemporary of James’s, who is perhaps best known for her Arthurian books set in Roman Britain. I came to those books in high school and they so strongly influenced me that they are probably the guiding force behind my WIP.

But hey, I’m pretty emotional tonight, acutely aware of the passage of time and the aging process, as one of my pals likes to say. I am hugely grateful for those of you who have stopped by this blog to check out what’s going on with me. Thanks especially to Stu, Jack, Kush, Rob, Loren, Hunter, and Candice. I wish I could more properly get down on paper what you all mean to me, but I’ve probably said enough.

I love this line by Dylan Thomas. It’s been running in my head since Christmas Eve.

I turned the gas down, I got into bed. I said some words to the close and holy darkness, and then I slept.

A Happy New Year to you all.

My Paperbacks Are Out!

My Paperbacks Are Out!Took me long enough, but paperback copies are finally available of my three fiction titles. For now, you can snag them via my Amazon page. If you buy a paperback via Amazon, you’ll get the ebook for free.If you’d rather not dea…

My Paperbacks Are Out!

Took me long enough, but paperback copies are finally available of my three fiction titles. For now, you can snag them via my Amazon page. If you buy a paperback via Amazon, you’ll get the ebook for free.

If you’d rather not deal with Amazon, or you don’t want a paperback, well, have I got a celebratory deal for you:

I can offer you a free e-book of any of these titles. Snag the correct file for your device via my Smashwords page, using one or all of these coupons, which expire April 1, 2014. You’ll need to enter the coupon codes when you checkout, then download the file that’s right for your e-reader. And don’t forget: A mobi or epub file will work with whatever reading device you have, whether a Kindle, Nook, iPad, or Kobo. If you don’t have a device at all, you can still read ‘em with the right app on your computer. Ask me if you need help.

Arm of Darkness (short stories): CM87N

The Mesmerist (novel): MJ34Q

Jersey Heat (novel): KH57T

I’m told that these paperbacks will migrate eventually to Ingram and thus be available to indie bookstores. I have no experience in that arena, but I’m curious to see if that actually happens.

If you’d like a signed copy of any of these titles, just contact me via my website, and we’ll make shipping and payment arrangements as soon as my first shipment comes in.

My thanks to those of you who reviewed these books in the past. A belated thank-you gift is on its way.

* * *

Other news: Denise is on the road for three weeks doing talks and conferences, and I’m home alone listening to the creaks of a settling house. Her paperback and audio book are out March 11. If you think you’d like a signed copy of either of these, contact our local bookstore, Malaprop’s, by phone and they’ll take of you.

Coming soon: paperbacks!

Coming soon: paperbacks!

This never happens, but it just did. The postman came by with a proof copy of my book, The Mesmerist, and UPS dropped off copies of Denise’s paperback as well.

As usual, I have no idea when my book will be available, but paperbacks of The Girls of Atomic City will hit stores March 11. Which gives me a chance to post Denise’s tour schedule. It’s subject to change, of course, but you can always double-check the dates, times, and places on the official Girls of Atomic City website.

Monday, February 24, 2014

New York, NY

Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism

*Event Closed

***

Saturday, March 1, 2014, 9:15 AM

Long Beach, CA

Long Beach Festival of Authors

Long Beach Convention Center, 110 Pine Ave.

***

Monday, March 3, 2014, 11:15 AM

Denver, CO

American Physical Society - Annual Meeting

Colorado Convention Center, 700 14th Street

*Registration Required

***

Tuesday, March 11, 2014, 7:00 PM

South Hadley, MA

Odyssey Books, 9 College Street

***

Thursday, March 13, 2014, 7:30 PM

Fredericksburg, VA

University of Mary Washington

Dodd Auditorium, George Washington Hall

1301 College Avenue

*Ticketed Event

***

Tuesday, March 18, 2014, Noon

Oak Ridge, TN

ALTRUSA Literacy Luncheon

Oak Ridge High School

1450 Oak Ridge Turnpike

*Ticketed Event

***

Friday and Saturday, March 21 - 22, 2014, 2:00 PM

Charlottesville, VA

Virginia Festival of the Book

***

Monday, March 24, 2014, 7:00 PM

Austin, TX

Book People

603 N Lamar Boulevard

***

Tuesday, March 25, 2014, 7:00 PM

Houston, TX

Brazos Bookstore

2421 Bissonnet Street

***

Wednesday, March 26, 2014, 3:00 PM

Oxford, MS

Oxford Conference for the Book

Journalism Panel moderated by Curtis Wilkie

Overby Center at the University of Mississippi

555 Grove Loop, Suite 247

***

Tuesday, April 1, 2014, 7:00 PM

Ann Arbor, MI

Nicola’s Books

2513 Jackson Ave. (in Westgate Shopping Center)

***

Wednesday, April 2, 7:00 PM

Cincinnati, OH

Joseph-Beth Booksellers

2692 Madison Road

***

Monday, April 7, 2014, 7:00 PM

Naperville, IL

Anderson’s Book Shop

123 W. Jefferson Avenue

***

Tuesday, April 8, 2014, 6:00 PM

Wichita, KS

Watermark Books

4701 E. Douglas Avenue

***

Thursday and Friday, April 10 - 11, 2014

Boone and Hudson, NC 

Caldwell Community College

Details forthcoming

Making Up for Zero Days

Since March I’ve been writing sporadically, and it’s been killing me. I keep a journal of my daily output and for much of spring and early summer it’s looked like this:

Since March I’ve been on the road a lot with Denise. I accompanied her on her book tour throughout the east and southeast, and while I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, I’m forced to admit that I wasn’t very productive at all. I’ve never gotten good at writing for myself while on the road.

In contrast, I’ve always been able to force myself to crank out client work and meet their deadlines while on the road. When it comes to my own stuff, I just tell myself I can skip a day. So while my ghostwriting clients can happily say their projects have moved forward—the scientists, the business dudes, the diet docs all got their proposals done this spring, yay for them—but on the Joe-fiction-writing front, this is the result: a long line of zeroes.

I started off great in January and managed to get about 75,000 words done on the new project before things went haywire. And when Denise hit the road solo in mid-June, I locked myself in the house and managed to write 35,000 words—Joe words, not client words—in a week. I now have a good rough draft on that book. It’s big, sloppy, and longwinded, but I’m ecstatic. It means I’ll be able to march through the next draft solidly knowing where I’m headed.

I’ve also decided to share this book with my agent and not automatically self-publish it. You can read that as a sign of how excited I am about this project. But bear in mind that I’m still at least one good draft away from sharing it with anyone. Since this is historical fiction, there’s a lot more research ahead.

If you think you might be interested in being a beta reader on this work, please let me know. The genre is historical fantasy, by which I mean that an element of magic has been inserted into a real-life historical setting. I’ll post again when I’m ready to share it.

By the way, here’s what I can say about any kind of historical fiction: don’t. Just don’t. You can barely write a sentence of your book unless you’ve researched a ton of stuff. Knowing how much I procrastinate, it’s a wonder I’ve gotten this far with this book.

I managed to write a decent short story this week, so I think I may have broken through the logjam. This week I’ll be starting the next book in The Mesmerist series while revising the historical fantasy. Should be good. Just don’t tell my ghosting clients, whose work may or may not be due this week.

* * *

In other news:

* It’s Fourth of July week here in the States. My most best-selling nonfiction book, Signing Their Lives Away, tells the story of the men who signed the Declaration of Independence. That book and its sequels have sold pretty well in historic site and museum gift shops. Learn more about them here. Follow the Facebook page here.

*  Back when we had more time on our hands, we did a line of Signer-themed Fourth of July T-shirts. Check them out here.

* Lastly, Google Reader was discontinued July 1. If you’ve been following this blog via that service, it’s time to migrate over to something like Feedly or what-have-you. All I ask is that you take me along with you. It’s been fun, hasn’t it? I haven’t been excessively annoying or needy, have I? Please take a moment to bookmark this page to your new reader, whatever it is.

Surprise Review of "The Mesmerist"

Also today, Loren Eaton has a zesty review of my book, The Mesmerist, up at his blog I Saw Lightning Fall.

I first read Loren’s work in the Winter 2012 issue of Needle, and started following his blog shortly after. I participated in his Christmas flash fiction event this past Christmas, and I’ve been enjoying his march through the work of H.P. Lovecraft.

Simply put, Eaton’s a master at saying a lot in 100 words, so I’m touched he would deign to lavish four, unexpected grafs on my cheese-fest masterpiece. If nothing else, I guarantee you that you will come away with more books (not mine) for your wish list after reading Loren’s review.

BTW: I was telling a baker friend the other day that I first wrote a draft of The Mesmerist in 1981, which may freak out some people. I keep meaning to do a post on my unusual writing experiences during those years, and maybe I will soon.